It’s been a couple weeks again, hasn’t it? My bad. Not making excuses, but I have been wrapped in my own little world lately. Busy, as usual. But also, I’ve been reading a TON. I recently got sucked back into the YA/fantasy/dystopian world and I think I may just stay for a little while. I think this post may be a little out there, but it’s something that I’ve wanted to discuss on here for a while. Maybe it’s something you can relate to. Maybe it isn’t. Either way, let me know in the comments below! These thoughts are coming out a little jumbled, but if you stick with it, I think it’ll be worth the read.
But first I must ask you this question:
Are you ever embarrassed to tell people what you’re reading?
If your answer is yes, then I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.
I don’t feel this way because what I read is inappropriate. I don’t feel this way because I don’t read enough (although, like everyone, I wish I read even more). I don’t feel this way because I haven’t read any of the classics (because I have).
I feel like what I read isn’t good enough…
If someone asks me what my favorite book is I usually say something that sounds more “adult.” I say The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society or A Hundred Summers or Beartown. Don’t get me wrong, I do LOVE these books, but I also love Harry Potter, Legend, Divergent, The Hunger Games, An Ember in the Ashes, and The 5th Wave. However, I rarely answer with those. Because they seem like cliche answers, because I really feel like I should be reading something “older” something for an “adult.”
Do you run into these feelings?
I hope I’m not crazy, I doubt I am. Some of these feelings are self-doubt and fear of someone else’s judgement and some are my own judgement. I feel like I should just grow up and read books that will actually teach me something. But so much of my time in graduate school is reading things that I don’t want to, things that teach me, things that take all of the mental effort I have. So when I get the chance to sit down and read what I feel like, I read things that I WANT.
But I shouldn’t need to justify what I am reading or why I chose to be reading it, and neither should you.
I read because I enjoy it. You read because you enjoy it. And THAT is what really matters. No one cares what you read. Or why. That’s your decision.
I’m going to work harder on not caring what someone else thinks about my reading. On not telling myself that something I LOVE is stupid or childish. Because I do read to “better myself” (whatever that means), I’m also going to continue to try to read books that do help me “grow up” because I like that, too.
Let’s talk! What are your real favorite books? What do you tell people your favorites are? Are you always answering questions to seem like a more “refined” reader? How do you get over your fear of judgment?